i'm lost...

it's 1.35am now... supposed to be in bed now... but there's somethings in my mind which i thing is better for me to blog this entry....

Afternoon was the bowler of the month, looking at the results.. makes me feel so lost... lost in a desert... everywhere looks the same, no either wad to do... had been bowling damn lousy for the past few weeks... or shall i say i've nv been good in it... was so disappointed... my goal of getting into the national youth squad seems so far... you xin wu li... haiz... hasn't been feeling good for long time... juz now played basketball with teh lan and some other bowlers... after tat went to talk at kopitiam den plaza... was sort of left out when they started to talk about their ex(s)... all of them was like so lucky...

came hm and soon wanted to go to bed... was lying down... so thoughts juz appear... it alwaes happens at night, before i can go into slp... some feeling was there, feels like wan jian chuan xin? i dunno... dunno how i shall explain it... i realised something, after deeper thoughts... i tink wad i've said abt chances is showing how selfish i am... realli... onli thinking abt myself... the hurting feeling reminds me or something... wad i've experience? hmm... mayb... when being hurt, chanel handbags dun feel good, it's painful... but still, i'm willing to be hurt... dunno why.. izzit those feelings tat is supporting it??? it muz be... remember the past... was being hurt again and again... mean words, actions... but i still waited for 4 yrs... ppl might tink i'm stupid, an idiot... but still, it's that feeling... having those feelings again... i dunno the same thing would happen again, but i dun mind being hurt too... so coincidence, my com is playing 'waiting for you'... tink i'm feeling better after typing tis...