没有妈咪的第四天

today is the fourth day that you left. till now i still feel regretful for all the things that i didn't do for you. i really miss you, i know dad is too. he's always with a smile cos he doesn't want us to worry and also he wants you to be able to leave in peace. he knows that you doesn't wish to see us cry and i knew that too. i tried.

i so wanted to take a picture with you when you're back at hm then. but i know i can't, cos you won't want to see youself in that condition. i hope the time i spent with you thru your last few months of your journey makes you happy. i'm glad tat i did though i wish i had more time.

everytime i go back home to take a shower or something, the first thing i saw was the bed. the bed which you passed away on. i would walk over to the bed. and in me, you're like still there. pictures of you talking to me like before. i would even smell the pillow that u've used, ur smell is still der. mummy i really really miss you badly. i so want you back, but i can't.. )':

i know i've to be strong, and i promised you that i will to take up this family and ah gong ah ma. i'm trying. but i'm so scared that i would break down during the day of cremation. everytime i walk near the coffin, i so wish i could see you again, but it's totally covered. i understand dad doesn't want to hurt you even you've left. so i rather tat i can't see you physically cos i know you're with me mentally. i can 'see' you thru anything.

YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEART. LOVE YA LOTS!