没有妈咪的第五天

today's the fifth day mummy left her physical self, but i believe she's always with me. i talked to her every night, and yesterday night is the last night i can talk to her body. i told mummy, 'mummy, you can leave peacefully. i will be strong, i'll be the pillar of the family. i will look after my brother and daddy. and also ah ma and ah gong. mum, pls give me the courage tmr (which is today).'

i know i cannot cry. i cannot show how sad i was to send her off. cos if i do so, it'll be a domino effect. and i did it. i can feel the courage mummy had when she was fighting the disease. i'm sad, but my tears didn't drop. i can even smile to mummy. (: i love you mummy, i miss you.

sent mummy off at ard 3pm and the cremation starts at 345pm. we stand at the viewing gallery, sounds of the tears and all didnt overwhelm me. i stood strong, chanting the wang sheng zhou. praying for mummy to go into the desired type of world. a world without sufferings. she had suffered enough.

sent her to Ju Shi Lin for her stay here for the next 44 days. at there, shifu will pray for her daily and she'll soon be free from all. (: came back home and started all the tidying and stuff, waiting for mummy to come home on sat morning cos it's the tou qi. (first 7 days) i hope i've fate with her and will see her. i want to affirm her tat i'll be strong to take up the family. She always have faith in me i know.